A father's dilemma

Incest
2007-09-24

I was 30 years old when I had my first kid. I loved my wife a lot and we had a good time together. Our daughter was so adorable and instantly she became the apple of my eye. I used to love watching her sleep with her eyes closed. I used to change nappies and feed her and I did everything I could to take care of her. I named her 'Angela' because she was a god sent angel in my life. My wife never kept really well after her childbirth. She passed away when Angela was young. Before dying she said, "Martin, God knew that you were enough to take care of Angela, so he is taking me away. Don't you allow her to miss her mother. " I took these words to my heart and took real good care of Angela.  And Angela responded so well to my care!! She became such a fantastic girl in all respects. She was so cute and adorable, and she excelled in everything she undertook, academics, sports, painting, music, everything. And she was always cheerful and energetic. Everyone in the neighbourhood felt that Angela was an ideal daughter! They all used to praise, me but really it was her that was doing well. I didn't do much except believed in her and encouraged her.

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   She in turn took everything I said at face value. She valued my opinion so much, that she never went against my word. "Superdad !!!" That was what she called me. We had a wonderful time together and we never ever missed my wife. I usually have good sense of comic timing, and she was always laughing at home and being with each other gave both of us a genuine sense of pleasure! If ever she was sad, angry or depressed for any reason, a bear hug from me and a stupid wise crack were enough for her to be back to her cheery laughing self.  Everything was fine till she became 13. As she turned 13, she wasn't a little girl any more. I had already talked to her about the changes she would undergo in her body and the rest of the 'how was I born?' story. And she absorbed all this information very fast!!! And she had all these questions to ask and was really curious about it. So I pointed her to certain web-sites in the internet and warned her about the ones giving bad or wrong information. So she gave me such a sweet smile and off she went into her room.  Soon she had small petite breasts, and she had to look for bra. I was obviously ill at ease in this respect, so it was my sister Katy, who came to my rescue. But soon a few changes came about her. Like, she started wearing really teeny-weeny clothes at home.

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   She used to hop around the house in the minutest of skirts and tank tops. When I asked her to wear some more, she retorted that she has always being wearing such clothes at home!! How should I explain to her that she was growing up!!! And though it not I who must say this, Angela started becoming really sexy. And her small breasts and shapely body and wonderfully cute face were really a raging hit among the boys. She had a lot of guys drooling after her including the elder guys from High School. And she used to be flooded with request for dates and friendships. But she never really seemed to have an inclination with boys. She talked to them and at times played some sports with them (she was far too good for the other girls) but when it came to being 'interested' in them she never was.  Another development I noticed was that during our daily interactions, she would tend to linger just a little longer if she touched me for any reason. Initially I thought that she was just a bit lonely or sad on that particular day. But I started noticing some thing different. This touch wasn't really an emotional sort of a touch, it was a sensual one. I put it to the back of my mind thinking that a small girl like this wouldn't really know what a sensual touch is like. But then Angela was a really intelligent girl! In any case I tried not to let that happen much. But she would find reasons just as much to get physically close to me. Like the other day, I was searching for an old t-shirt inside my cupboard and I was bent down with my head tucked into the cupboard.

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   At that time she came and put her hand on my ass!! And what a touch it was!  I got gooseflesh all over and was really titillated and asked her what she wanted. So she said that she just came to help her poor old dad. She knew I wouldn't find it. And just like she said, she found the t-shirt for me with a few seconds!! What a girl Angela is!!She used to sleep with me a few times when she was a kid, on certain days. But of late she had been trying to sneak into my bed far too often in the night. Usually I used to send her back and wait in her room till she fell asleep again. But I suspected that it wasn’t really that she was sad or needed emotional comfort, when she came to my bed in the night. Usually I am a light sleeper, since I was a single dad and would know immediately when she entered my room, but of late she was becoming increasingly adept at sneaking into my room. I used to tell her to call me if she needed me, but she just wouldn’t listen and she kept sneaking into my room.
Then one day she came back from school really upset. And I knew it immediately. I work from home, so I’m usually around when she is back and usually she runs into my study and gives me a huge hug and a sloppy wet kiss on my cheek. (she had been doing that ever since she was in grade one, although the hugs were longer of late and the kisses weren’t sloppy but kind of sensual) But today she came and hugged me and was holding me really close for quite a while burying her head in my tummy. (I do have a fairly large tummy) But today’s hug wasn’t one of those which became characteristic of her in recent times. This one seemed like the emotional one.

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   So I allowed her to hug me for a while and then I sat down and asked her, what was troubling her. At first she shook her head and didn’t say anything, looking down at the ground. But I knew that something was wrong. So I asked her my usual questions of ‘Did teacher scold you?’ and the like. But she answered in the negative for all of them. Then I saw that there was a cut on her knuckle! And I asked her whether she had been fighting. And then she didn’t say anything. I knew at once that she was! I had an impulse to scold her immediately, but I held back and asked her calmly, whom and why. So she said that she beat up a guy 2 years her senior along with a couple of his friends. And I couldn’t help up open my mouth in awe. This girl Angela, a petite little female, taking one 3 guys, 2 years her senior!!! And I asked her whether she is hurt somewhere!! And she said that she was sore all over!! And then I hugged her again, but this time carefully. I said, ‘Oh dear baby, what happened for you to do something like this? And didn’t your friends come to protect you? What did those boys say or do to you?”
She was silent for a while, but I gave her, her time. She then said that one of those guys has been asking her out almost everyday, while she denied it everyday. Then the group came together on that day and started calling her a lesbian in front of her whole class. The boys from her class to joined in apparently and the girls were far too scandalised to say or do anything.

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   I felt really bad that my daughter was cornered in this way. So I asked her whether she knew at all what a lesbian was. (To me my daughter was a small baby) So she said that she knew and said. “Dad I am not a lesbian, so what if I don’t care for other guys. I love YOU!”. This brought a rush of different emotions. At first I felt really warm, that she loved me so much and said it with such passion, then I chuckled, because I felt that obviously she didn’t really know the meaning of lesbian, and then I was a confused, because Angela, may be anything but unaware!! She being such an intelligent girl, she was far ahead of the rest of her school in terms of any sort of information, including things related to sex education.
So I calmed myself and told her, that loving me, really does not mean anything, because I was her father. But all the same it did not mean that she was a lesbian. She just needed time to start being interested in boys, and that maybe she was just a late bloomer. And then I asked her to clear a nasty suspicion that erupted in my mind, “Are you interested in girls? As in do you know what I mean, aroused? Hmm… do you know what is aroused?” And she gave me an exasperated expression and said, “Of course dad!!”, and my heart skipped a beat. She said, “Of course I know what aroused means, and I am definitely not aroused by any of the girls, and neither do those boys who have brains the size of pea-nuts!! I get aroused only by YOU, and I want to by YOUR girl!!”
My heart stopped at this!! Yes, my fear of her being a lesbian was cleared, but what the hell did she mean by she was aroused by me?? I asked her what she meant by that. She said, “I’ll never love any man other than you, dad, because no one compares with you. You are the most handsome man I know, the most intelligent and funny and wonderful person I know. I can never ever think that anyone would be as good as you, and I don’t want to marry anybody.

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   And since I know that I can’t marry you, I won’t!! But at least don’t force me to marry any other guy, because I know that every man in this world will compare to nothing in front of you!!! Dad, do you know how sexy you are? And I am so damn lucky to see you everyday after your bath in the towel wiping yourself!! You have such a wonderful body!!. ” And I said, “You see me in the towel everyday? How do you…. I thought I close my door! How do you……. ?”. So she gave a sheepish smile and said that there is a small opening in the window, and I can jump from my balcony and watch you from there. ” Now I was really angry. Like I never was with her ever!! I said, “Since when have you been doing this? This is no laughing matter! Sneaking like this on your FATHER? My god I am so ashamed of myself!” And I really didn’t have words for my anger. My own daughter, playing voyeur on me?
I scolded her like never before and said that she was grounded for a week and I never wanted to see her again and was ashamed of her. And I was really very harsh with her, as I have never been. But the situation really demanded it and I really didn’t know what wrong I had done in bringing her up. After 5 minutes of thinking, I realized that after all she was my daughter, and she was still just 13, even though she was mentally an adult, she still didn’t know right from wrong! And, what more she just had come back from a traumatic situation in school, and she must have been really physically hurt. So I knocked on her door and said, “Daddy is sorry dear for scolding you. I must talk to you, can I come in?” There was bit of scuffling and then she said I could come in. She definitely had been crying, but tried her best to make a brave face in front of me. I made her sit down and sat in front of her.

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   I really found it odd to be talking to my daughter like this, but there was no one else who could. It was I, who had to do it.
I first apologized for scolding her and said, “Baby, I’m really sorry that I was harsh with you. But you must realize that what you are thinking is completely wrong. I am your father and having such kind of thoughts about me is morally wrong. You should find guys of your age!! I’m sure you will do that given time. Please try not to have such thought about me!! I’m really sorry if I said or did anything which made you feel this way. But I being your father I must tell you that this is absolutely incorrect. And I never want you sneaking on me again, not in the night, not in the day. Never!! I have my right to privacy, just as you have!!” To this, she said, “I don’t want privacy! I want to sleep with you and want you to see my body. See how I have grown up. I want you to see my breasts. I know they are small, and maybe not good enough for you, but I want to be yours!”This made me boil again. But I calmed down and said, “PLEASE, please never think like this again. If you really love your father and respect him,”, “I love you daddy and respect you more than anybody in the world”, “I’m glad for that, then don’t ever have such thought in your mind.

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   I cannot face myself if you ever have such thoughts. The matter is closed and I don’t want you to ever talk about this in your our lives again. Will you do it for me baby?”
Even without thinking, she said, “Yes father. I know I can never ever sleep with any other man in my life, but for you, I will even go to the other end of this world. ”“See baby, if you try and forget such thought about me, you will surely find some other guys. There are many smart, young and capable guys worthy of you in this world. You’ll surely find a guy worthy of you. Which reminds me; tell me where you are hurt baby?”So she said, “Many places. Some of them I’d love to show you, but you wouldn’t want to see. But ya. . ” And she rolled up her sleeves and her pants, to reveal some bruised. And as she rolled up her pant, I saw that she had wonderful toned legs. I forced myself to look away and went and brought some ointment and medicines. As I was applying it, I was forced to see that my daughter was really beautiful and sexy and growing up fast.

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This incident was soon forgotten and never talked about, and Angela stopped sneaking in bed and otherwise. (I hope) But we were distant in a way. We never had those hugs and sloppy kisses again, but even the fun sessions were few and far between. Some how she seemed sad and her eyes would often look at me longingly. But true to her word to her father, she never mentioned such things to me again. But when she became 17 and passed out of high school, she never ever had any boy friends, which all her classmate girls already had, even though she was still the most sought after girl and become even more beautiful and a wonderful young lady. Her grades were good enough to seek her place in one of the top universities in the country. But she had to leave the city for that. In spite of me trying to convince her that she must go looking for her career, she wouldn’t listen to me. And it was no longer easy for me to convince her. She just said, “Dad, if you ask me to go join the university in Bangalore, I will. But if you give me a choice, then I will never leave my old man and go anywhere. But I am an adult, and from the way you have brought me up, you have always respected my decision and choice. So my decision is to stay here in Pune with you. I think you will respect my decision.

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   I have my reasons for it. ” To THAT I couldn’t say anything.
So she stayed back, in Pune and did a good course, but not the best one for her potential, and as usual she excelled in this one too. But she never succeeded in one dept. , finding boys for herself. Though a lot of boys found her and tired her with requests, she never ever found a single guy worth going out with. She turned 18 on 1st Dec. 1998. And I wanted her to be really happy, and so I bought her a brand new car. She also had a party with her friends on the eve of her birthday, as was the custom. These were the friends had come to accept that she will always be single in her life. She had already informed me that she would be late and I was to pick her up at 1. 00 in the night, since she would never have any boy drop her home, and the other girls had their boys to go home with. On the way back I saw that she was wearing a wonderful looking dress, and was looking stunning. I was wondering where she got such taste from, whether from her mother, and that the boys must be having a tough time taking their eyes off her.

 

   I also noticed that she was really happy, happier than I had ever seen her of late. Of course I knew that she didn’t know about the car, or did she? And for a second I wondered whether she had finally found a guy. So I said, “Baby, I have a big surprise for you when you get back home!” You wouldn’t believe what I’ve bought for you. So she looked me in the eye, and said, “Dad, do you remember that you had promised me once that you would do anything for my happiness?”. So I said, “Ya baby, I will always!!” So she said, “Dad I want a particular gift from you on my birthday. ” So I said, “I’l try my best to give you whatever you want baby. Since you have never really asked me explicitly for anything in your life, I think I shall give you ANYthing you ask for, for whatever cost, even if I have to repay its cost my whole life!!. ”So at this juncture, she said, “Stop the car!!” So I exclaimed, “What?”, but stop the car. Then she looked at me in the eye and said, “Dad, I want to have sex with you!”, and before I could say anything, she quickly added, “only once! After that I will never ask you or even be around you if you like, I’ll move away from Pune. I want only this in my life, to have sex with you only ONCE!!”I was left with my mouth gaping open. I didn’t know what to say! She said, “Dad I respect you, and care for your feelings. So I have never done anything to make you feel embarrassed in your own eyes. But today I am an adult, and no longer somebody you have to take care of. I can manage my own life. I have a job, and am doing my degree, and can pay for my tuition too.

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   I have been saving all my pocket money and have invested in many avenues. Today I am an adult and I do not need your signature to manage my investments. I am really independent. After tonight, even if you don’t want to see my face again, I will never show you. But make me feel like a woman tonight. Because no one else can ever make me feel like one, but YOU dad, only YOU!! Take you time to think till we reach home. If you feel that you cannot do this, then I’ll accept your decision, but yes I’ll remain a virgin till I die!!”I was in such a turmoil of emotions. On one hand was my daughter begging her father for something, and on the other hand was me, who was supposed to sleep with his daughter! On one hand was my baby, the one I had brought up since she couldn’t breathe and had to be slapped on her bottom to start crying, and on the other hand was this stunning young lady, an epitome of youth and beauty asking me to sleep with her! I was in a dilemma, I’m sure not even Oedipus faced!
I remained silent all the while driving back and didn’t speak even after reaching home. We got into the house, still silent and she quickly went up her room. I was relieved for a moment, thinking that she changed her mind, but she was back in a jiffy wearing a heavenly looking almost transparent gown. (I don’t know where she got her mom’s favourite gown from, the one I presented her on our honeymoon) And for a moment I thought I was looking at my wife! And my lingered on her sensuous body with just a second of lust, but I immediately turned away, albeit with great difficulty. How divine she looked. It took me all my will power to really look away. But even after looking away her image was in my mind, and I could see her lovely humble breasts, heaving with her soft but deep breathing, and her thin waist and hips swaying as she eased down the stairs, and her wonderful legs, through the long slit in the gown!She came down, and put her hand on my face and made me look at her. And she looked though her deep brown eyes longingly at me, and they were screaming silently, “Take me Dad, take me!” And I closed my eyes, then she took gave me a slight shove and I fell onto the couch.

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   And I opened my eyes again and saw that she came down and her hands were on my thighs. Her touch was so soft, but heat was seeping through her small tender hands. I put my hands on her, to push them away, and when my hands touched hers, an electric shock passed through my whole body, and all the hairs on my arms and legs stood on end. My feeling of arousal was too strong. It had been a really long time since I had been with any woman. (16 years since my wife passed away and 19 years since I was with her in bed) I couldn’t push her hands away. But she wouldn’t have allowed me to even if I could, because she then had started unbuttoning my shirt. I caught her hand to stop her from doing so, but she pushed me back and said, “Relax old man, I’m going to give you the time of your life!!”
And as I felt her hand on my chest, her soft tender touch, I had forgotten that this was my daughter. Such was the heat of her passion. She pulled over my shirt and kissed me on my chest and rubbed her nose against it, like a kitten feeling the warmth on my chest. And she purred like one too. I could see that she was feeling so good, feeling so secured and wanted. Then she came up and gave me a peck on my cheek, thought a bit and then brought her lips close to mine. I hesitated, but she looked at me with such longing, and I couldn’t say no to my baby. I knew she wanted this and only this.

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   She wanted me to be her man!! And slowly she brought her soft small lips of an 18 year old to the old lips of a 48 year old man, her father!I don’t remember what I really felt at that kiss, I enjoyed it so much, but couldn’t really. I wanted to push her away every instant, but wanted her to continue just the same. My 16 years of celibacy was taking its toll on me, and so what her mesmerising beauty, sensuality and youth. Somewhere midway, I turned away from her, with the father part of me winning a small battle, but I looked at her eyes and she was hurt. I could see it! But a second later, she smiled a cunning smile and brought her head down. And she put her hand right on my crotch!! And I almost jumped. But before I could react, she unzipped me in one fluent stroke. I brought my hands down, stop what she was doing, but she looked at me warningly, a look which dared me to stop her. And I didn’t know who was whose parent then!
Soon her hands went seeking for what she sought most and she brought it out, slowly, twitching in her hands, from excitement, fear, guilt and pleasure! And when she looked at it, her eyes widened, first with fear and then with hunger. She looked up to me and said, “Dad, I’m so lucky to be the woman who touched it after mom!! Dad, please don’t deny me what I want the most in life!! Make me a woman dad, please!!” And without listening to what I had to say about it, she opened her mouth and took the thick and rock hard manhood right in! Her wet, warm and soft mouth put whatever I had to say right out of my mind! I had never ever been in such ecstasy before! And soon she was taking it right in. I felt that she would gag any time, but she actually put the whole 8 inches of rock right down her throat and I could feel it going past the base of her throat right into her oesophagus!! And if it could get any harder than rock, my dick went onto an over drive!!!!She kept it there for a moment and then brought it out again!! And she wiped her mouth and purred, ” Mmmm…. . ” I’ve never had a tastier piece of candy before. I want it all!! And then she took me right in again. She moved her lips and tolled her tongue over it and she seemed to know exactly what to do with it! (I think she must have been reading from the net and planning it since a very long time) She kept arousing me more and more, and kept me on the edge, but just not allowing me to cum.

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   She kept applying pressure on the base of my dick with her hands every now and then. So I was in a state of continuous just over the edge! (She did know quite a few things about sex)After some time of keeping me agonizingly close to cuming, She came up and turned around showing me her deep back of the gown. Then she slowly lifted her skirt up and placed her bottom on my crotch, and I realized that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath her gown!!! Then she took my hand and placed it in between her thighs, and I saw that she was dripping wet!! And when my fingers touch her little flower, she let out a soft moan of pleasure. I just let my hand be there, and she started rubbing her self against my hand. And I slowly started feeling her, and was looking for her clitoris. When I found it and touched it, she gave such a jerk stopped for a while, tensed up every part of her body and then let go and she fell on top of me! I knew that this was the first time she must have really had an orgasm, and she was so sensitive, that just a touch was enough to release her flood gates. As she fell on me, I held her close and laid her back on my chest hugged her. She seemed to have passed out for a minute or so. And I lay thinking about what the hell I am doing! I was holding my baby daughter in my arms, and I gave her a pleasure which she would take from no one else. I didn’t know what was right and what was wrong. But I knew that I wanted with all my heart to see my daughter, happy and satisfied.
She came around in a while and turned around. And I was about to make my way out from under her, but she said, “Oh no dad, you aren’t going anywhere yet. I haven’t finished with you!!’ And she took my hand and led me to the bed. And now I was following her without protest.

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   She got onto the bed and let her gown slip off her shoulders. And lo! What I saw was really like a angelic vision. Such lovely pair of breasts, so small, yet full and firm, so fair and yet pink with vigour and vitality, so young, yet still so mature and buxom! I really didn’t think I would ever witness heaven on earth, but this was just it! Heaven! And she held my hands and placed them on her breasts. I touched them very tenderly, because after all they were my baby’s. I felt like I was being a parent once again. And I slowly cuddled them and rubbed them gently and felt them with so much of love. He small nipple soon became hard and she was letting moans of pure pleasure escape her lovely lips. And as I teased and played with her petite breasts, she came once again and she again couldn’t take the heights of pleasure. But this time she recovered more quickly and wanted to take me to the next stage.
Then she took my pants out and her gown and we both laid down next to each other, like father and baby, she in my arms, but stark naked. We loved each other so much and our love for each other became so much more beautiful and intense with this. And then I realized why she wanted this so badly! My sense of morality did not allow me to see this, but Angela was special. She always knew what exactly she wanted from life, and she foresaw this! She gave me the pleasure of being a father, which I would never ever have been able to feel. My love for my daughter seemed like a culmination and the reason why she was born to me. Everything became clear as I lay with her tender breasts against my chest and she wrapped around me hold me so very tightly to herself.

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  We lay like this for a really long time. Then I let go of her and laid her below me. She parted her wonderfully youthful legs and slightly arched her back. She invited me to complete the final act of unifying two people who love each other. And I put my manhood slowly in the little red bud of a rose. And it was such a tender flower, which I was entering and so really small! As I pushed past her virginity, she gave a slight wince, and I held her closer at that time. She didn’t feel any pain after that and I eased myself into her. And then we were closer to each other, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually, than ever before. We became one, just like we were before she was born. She was born from me, a part of me, and we felt that we went back in time, when we weren’t different!As I went back and forth, I could see the pleasure in her eyes, and we both looked at each other, and we climaxed together melting into each other, moving onto another universe. We felt like we died and were born right again. We knew the reason we came on this earth. We now knew, that we had satisfied our purpose in this life.
Epilogue – Angela and I lived like a couple all our lives, although no one knew it. Everybody in my family put a lot of pressure on me to search for a guy to marry her off, if she didn’t want to find one.

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   In front of others we always acted as if I would rebuke her for not wanting to marry. But we always laughed in private about this. She took care of my till I reached a ripe old age, and we continued to share this pleasure for a very long time to come. (We didn’t have any problems of contraception because I had already had my vasectomy done soon after Angela was born) Now I lay on my death bed and I am reciting this story to her as she is writing for me. She was the most wonderful woman I have ever known, Angela was her name. And she was my daughter!!

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