masturbation & memories: Resolutions (part one)

Incest
2011-04-24

Never again.

I don’t know, and I don’t want to know how often I have told myself these two words. Never again.

Never again will I be so stupid to try to put my nightly fantasiesinto action. Never again will I wallow in feverish hopes and illusions,only to see them shatter against reality. Never again.

And then I’m standing naked in my kitchen, smearing Vaseline into myass and trembling like a little child about to get spanked. And I hearvoices in my head screaming at me: No way! Go, go! You can’t really bedoing this! You’ve got to go through with this now! Stop it! No, there’sno turning back now!

But let’s double back a little.

It’s almost two weeks ago now; I have waited for this day for a longtime. Not only have I waited, though, I have prepared myself for what Ihope will come to pass. You’ve seen me shoving half-cooked carrots up myass to get used to the feeling, to learn to enjoy it; but when I thinkof the force with which I have felt men pushing their penises inside me,I’m still trembling with fear and excitement at the same time. How isit going to feel? Will I enjoy it?

Well, at least I’m sure it will be memorable.

My father is scheduled to visit me today, coming to my flat for thefirst time since that fateful night in January when he tried to rape mein a drunken stupor. For quite some time after that, I had sincerelyhoped that he’d forgotten all of that, because he never called to makeexcuses as I was sure he would normally have done; but seeing as hecalled me two times in the last few days just to confirm that, yes, itreally is alright with me if he comes by my flat, and no, I don’t wantto meet him somewhere else or even not at all, ’cause he “wouldunderstand that, you know”, I guess he knows pretty well what he did tome then.

What he almost did to me then, and what I have regretted for so longthat in the end he did not. But that’s the past; what’s gone is gone.

porn stars escort 

  

Today it’s different.

The last time I saw him, at his girlfriend’s place, he exploited thefact that he was massaging me to dip a finger into my anus, drawingsensations I had never felt before. Lacking the ability to talk to himin any way about these matters, I took the action to be a statement ofinterest, even a promise, and I’ve been looking forward to having itfulfilled for weeks.

He’s coming now. He’s late again, with a bad conscience; I hear himrunning up the stairs, and when he stands in the doorway, he’s pantingand his face is glistening with sweat.

I’m wearing a light skirt with nothing under it, having cranked upthe heating to entice him to shed as many of his clothes as possible. But looking at him now, standing in front of him in the skimpy whitedress through which, I’m sure, he can clearly see my nipples poking out,I feel ridiculous and ashamed.

“Hey,” I say, neither embracing him nor kissing him the way I hadimagined I would, the way I’d been resolved to do right up until themoment he was there. I see his gaze running along my body for a moment,then quickly looking away, over my shoulder. “Erm, hello,” he replies,looking around with an emphasis that is almost funny to avoid staring atmy breasts. I can’t help blushing and make my retreat, turning slightlyaway from him, bringing my hands to my face in an affectedly innocentgesture to cover my nipples.

“You look… hot,” I spurt out, before realizing the double entendreand blushing even more. “I mean… maybe you’d like to take a shower?”

“Oh… yes, erm, if it’s not a problem?” My father has a way ofphrasing every request and even every statement that he’s not completelysure about as a question, which used to annoy me lots when I wasyounger. Now, I guess, there are just so many other things that annoy meeven more that this one doesn’t even figure.

“Sure!” I reply, maybe a tad too enthusiastically; I guess theexpression on his face means that while he’s not too comfortable taking ashower in his daughter’s messy little bathroom, he’s even lesscomfortable around me and sort of glad for the excuse to have some timealone before he has to face me again.

bourrdela.tv 

   Me, I’m just as glad when heagrees, because it means that I can change into something lessembarrassing in the meanwhile.

Only that as soon as the bathroom door closes behind him, I can feelthe hormones racing in my body, telling me to pursue another courseentirely.

Putting an ear against the door, carefully, slowly, so he won’tnotice, I can hear him undressing clumsily, hitting his elbow on thetowel railing at one point and hissing an annoyed curse. When the showerdoors creak, my heart skips a beat, because I know that he is nakednow, in my own bathroom which, by the way, doesn’t have a lock. He’snaked, separated from me only by a thin door I could open any time; andthen…

Weak with excitement, I pull the skirt over my head in an impulsivegesture, letting it drop to the floor to emphasize my forceddon’t-give-a-damn attitude. The shower is running now, and here I am,standing naked mere two and a half meters from my equally naked Dad,ready to fling open the material and symbolic door between us andembrace him, wet as he is; and wet as I am myself.

But no; not quite ready.

On unsteady feet, my teeth clattering with nervousness, I tiptoe tomy room, trying to be as silent as possible for some reason, andretrieve the box of Vaseline I’ve placed conspicuously beside my bed. Back in the kitchen, right next to the bathroom door, I bend over thekitchenette and smear handfuls of Vaseline into the crack of my ass,even putting a crown of the white cream on my middle finger and pushingit some way into my anus so I’m lubricated from the inside as well.

God, what am I doing? Stop this, the voices inside my head arecalling. Take the Vaseline box and the skirt and run back to your room,maybe you can still change in time before your Dad comes out… the showeris still running, you still have a chance… break off now and live inpeace…

No.

Breathless with agitation, I walk up to the bathroom door, where Ihesitate for five deep breaths and about fifty heartbeats. When Ifinally dare to put my fingers on the door handle, the shower suddenlygoes out.

I almost turn and run; I know this is my last chance to turn back. Every sensible nerve in my body screams at me to do it, to leave now andsave what can still be saved.

hellas escor girls.gr 

  

But I don’t. No, I tell myself, exercising more willpower than I everthought I had; I have to go through with this now, because if I don’t,I’ll be caught in the web of my fantasies forever. If it works, thenI’ll be happier than ever before, or at least that’s what I like to tellmyself; and if it doesn’t work, at least I’ll be so disillusioned thatI’ll shirk from plans and fantasies like this in the future.

Do it, now!

And I do it.

Pushing open the door with the same feeling one might have whenpulling out a barbed arrow that has buried itself deep into one’sstomach, I open the door and step into the bathroom, ready to ask myfather to stick his penis up my ass. “Daddy,” I want to say, but myvoice breaks. I’m paralyzed; all I can do is stand there and behold.

My Dad is masturbating. When I open the door, his face is squinchedin concentration while his left hand is working at his penis, pressingand rubbing the shaft in jerking movements. At the sound of the dooropening, he immediately stops, almost collapsing with surprise andpanic, and tries to turn away from me; but I can see that it’s too late. His penis is already twitching and squirting semen on the wall, andhe’s contracting as if he wanted to curl up and vanish inside himself.

I feel awful for him. How must he feel, having his own daughter catchhim masturbating, and even worse, having his own daughter drop in onhim and standing naked in front of him while he comes without wantingit? Once again, I’ve managed to put my father into an impossiblesituation; and once again, there’s no way I can even think of seducinghim now. I am revulsed by him and pity him at the same time; I amashamed and cold and miserable, and there’s nothing I can do to makethings better now.

Neither of us says a word as I stagger back to my room, awkwardlypicking up the skirt and Vaseline box on the way; standing behind thedoor without daring to move or even breathe, I hear him dressing quicklyand leaving my flat, and unlike last time, I am completely sure that heis gone for good.

atiensladies 

  

Still, I wait for what must be twenty minutes before I notice that Iam cold despite the heating, and putting my skirt back on I teeter tothe bathroom, wanting nothing more than to wash the cream out of my ass.

But when I get into the shower, I can’t help but notice the slimetrails on the wall where his sperm hit the tiles; and following themwith my eyes, I see that the thick white-yellowish globs have puddled onthe rim of the shower tray, ready to be washed away by the first gushof water. My first thought is that my father must have been so outragedthat he didn’t even think of cleaning up behind him; while the secondthought goes in another direction entirely.

Not really, one of the condemning voices in my head is snorting.

But I do it. Slowly and carefully, I sit down on my ankles, then onmy shins. I have to stick my feet out of the shower tray to be able tolower my head enough to get it close to the puddle of sperm; then I takea deep breath through the nose.

Over the shower’s mouldy smell, I recognize the aroma immediately. It’s kind of stale, like black tea that’s gone cold, and mixed with afaint tang of urine and something else, something I don’t know the namefor if it even has a name. Sniffing again, I bring my head down evencloser.

I must admit that I’ve never really tasted sperm before. I never wasone for blowjobs, not until climax anyway; helping a man get hard byusing my lips and tongue is something else entirely than working a dicktill the sperm comes out and actually feeling it on your tongue. I neverdid that, I guess because I always thought it was kind of gross.

But now I have my father’s sperm before me, and although I’m sureit’s all gone cold by now, I vividly remember seeing it squirt out ofhis penis, splashing against the wall, and running down to where it’slying now.

Clenching my fists to prove to myself that I mean it, I put out mytongue and touch it.

Thessaloniki Escort Services, Escort in Thessaloniki, Escort Girls Thessaloniki, City Tours Thessaloniki Escorts, Independent Escort Thessaloniki, ... 

   It tastes salty and it’s weird, very much likephlegm in consistence. Then, pouting my lips as if for a kiss, I beginto slurp it up.

It doesn’t taste good; not at all. It’s slimy and salty and mouldyand it tastes much more like pee than it smelt like it, and for a momentI really want to spit it out again and wash my mouth with mouthwash. But I hold it; it’s my father’s sperm, after all, and I bet he spilt itthinking of me, either because he was still thinking of my nipples underthe white skirt or because he had seen me standing naked in front ofhim, my intentions obvious even to someone as dense as him. So I swirlit around in my mouth, trying to learn to appreciate the taste, the way Itried to become used to something hard penetrating my anus.

Then I spit a little of it into my hand, struggling to keep it steadyso the thick stuff doesn’t run off and vanish into the sewer, before Igather the rest of it together at the back of my tongue and swallow itall at once. Closing my eyes, I imagine that I have taken my Dad’s dickinto my mouth, sucking on it until he filled me with his sperm, whosetaste is now everywhere in my mouth and throat, rising up through thenose every time I exhale.

Raising my knees and lying on my back as well as possible in thecramped space, I gingerly move the hand holding the rest of his spermbetween my legs. I’m thinking of him as I rub his semen into me,stretching my fingers to push the sticky stuff all the way into my womb,thinking about my father fucking me, panting into my ears as he movesover me, the tip of his penis touching the entrance to my uterus when hepushes me hard, and finally squirting his load deep inside me, hisvoice breaking with lust and his fingers digging burning furrows intothe skin of my shoulders.

I’m not on the pill right now. I wanted my Dad to take me frombehind, to spill his semen where nobody has spilt it before; but at thesame time, I also got off on the thrill of maybe getting pregnant, onthe very real danger that if I actually managed to seduce him, somethingof his sperm might get to where my fertile eggs were waiting for it, aseager to take it in as I was to feel him inside me.

I know that it’s wrong; I know that I should never ever want to getpregnant by my own father. I know from the literature what children ofclose relatives look like, and all my rants about how incest shouldn’tbe illegal presuppose that incest isn’t interbreeding. But when I’mlying in my bed now every evening, thinking about what I might havedone, reciting quotes I memorized from some sex education books abouthow long sperm cells can survive in a moist environment, the fear thatmakes me shiver also makes me hot, and when I touch myself then I againimagine my Dad coming inside me, saying he shouldn’t, we shouldn’t, wereally shouldn’t, even while he pumps it hot and live into my womb,gasping with lust because it is so wrong, because we are doing what nobody should ever do.

aaa europemodels escort trans france escorts shemale gr jennifer stone escort amour russe escort www.escortnews.com www.escort.com shemale escorts escorttours trans escorts www.escort escort italy votka escort shemale escort greece 

  

I have not made the test yet; they say it’s too early still. But in a week or so, I guess I’ll know.

And I’m afraid.

.
The cutest escort chicks in Netherland are exposed on www.6guide.nl

Professional Dutch call girls want to meet you

If you are a traveler and desire to come to Netherland, you can make your trip unforgettable. The best way of having a good time is meeting with a perky Netherland babe. She will help you get amazing impressions and experience the absolute happiness in such big cities like Amsterdam, Utrecht, Rotterdam, The Hague, and many others. Single men don’t prefer to travel alone even if it’s business trip.

Dutch escort models can go with you everywhere you are going. For example, you can come with a tall enchantress on a business meeting to affect your partners. Models are good for sightseeing, too. Make your trip even more exciting and full of thrills thanks to our online escort agency. Make no doubt about the fact that this website is the top in Netherland and it doesn’t matter which place in Netherland you are going to visit. Hot blondes, redheads, brunettes, and brown-haired chicks with bewitching faces and fascinating body shapes for every taste are waiting for you. All escort girls are eye-catching, eccentric, and absolutely sexy. The list of top-class call girls from Netherland is here. Choose one and have amazing time. You’ll not regret surely. You will never see such adorable girl in public places or in a restaurant so better enjoy your time with a call girl.

First-class escort agencies in Netherlands

Our escort agency works 24/7 and can help you choose the best escorts for few hours, a night or a whole day. Find the information about our services on web-portal and contact us if you have some questions. Customer service is always ready to help you find a chick from the long list and explain you all the rules. You should know that our escort service really cares about confidentiality. You may discuss all the additional services that you want to receive in advance. Maybe, you would be happy to receive Nuru massage or any other intimate caresses. Incalls and outcalls are provided both. It means you can invite a model to your place or our agency will provide you with a motel room. Our customers want to keep their entertainment in secret and our agency guarantees it. You’ll not find a better escort service in Dutch cities. Our agency works for many years, provides its clients full support, and helps to plan your date with sumptuous babe. escorts in holland is waiting for your message. Make your trip dream come true in this country. There are a lot of interesting places to visit but don’t travel alone. Better use our perfect escort agency because you deserve it


Indulge yourself with the best lechery from true professionals of https://escortnews.eu/ . Don’t hesitate to visit Escort Dusseldorfand discover what a wild lechery feels like, while enjoying the high-class escort services.

Facts About Dusseldorf Escort That You Should Know

Germany, also known as Deutschland, is one of the most active countries in entire Europe. Germany has got a remarkable history, as well as diverse culture and spectacular beauty of nature. In fact, if you want to see some of the most beautiful castles in the world, then Germany is just the right place.
Dusseldorf occupies a strategic location in Germany and is well-known all over the Europe. A number of magazines call Dusseldorf one of the most spectacular places in Germany and even Europe. That is the reason why it is so well-known among people, who regularly travel around the globe. Only in Dusseldorf you can see spacious parks, impressive monuments, astounding buildings and attractive places of interest, uniquely expressed culture, delicious food and many other places of interest. Speaking of other places of interest - don’t forget that Dusseldorf has a reputation of location where all adults can enjoy have all types of fun.
Welcome to Escort Girl Dusseldorf , the best location for all the filthy men, who aim to enrich their lives with breathtaking lechery and breathtaking lust. You surely will be completely satisfied with top-quality escort that you are about to enjoy in Escort Dusseldorf. .

List of Services Provided by Dusseldorf Escort

Enter Escort Dusseldorf without any delay in order to enjoy impressive escort offers at and experience a completely different level of satisfaction that is offered by this city. Even firs timers won’t have any troubles to have some great time in here, because that’s the specialty of Escort Dusseldorf. Just make sure you share your personal information at the registration page and in few minutes you will be able to start your journey in the world of lust and lechery. Don’t hesitate to select escort babes that you like and get ready to endure real dirty pleasure.
Browse through different categories in order to choose the hottie of your drams with help of standard, VIP, diamond and other categories available. Those categories can be picked based on your budget. There are plenty of tantalizing bitches in https://escortnews.eu/ to choose from: passionate Latinas, sexy Asians, horny Caucasians, filthy Europeans, nasty Arab ladies, tantalizing ebonies cannot wait to expose their impressive escort expertise. Go through their profiles and check out those exciting photo galleries, which show their juicy body shapes in the best ways.
Escort Dusseldorf

Now we have arrived to the most interesting section of Escort Dusseldorf. It’s time to select the type of escort service you prefer. Our mouthwatering ladies can definitely deliver the best escort services to each and every customer of Escort Dusseldorf, as they possess the most suitable techniques. Likewise, feel free to make your fantasies come true with help of oral sex, escort massage, cosplays, roleplay, BDSM, sex toys, anal sex, handjobs, footjobs, pissing, gang-bang and many others. Our bitches will clearly do their very best to satisfy you.

Reliability of Escort Girl Dusseldorf

All the private data are treated with maximum care to ensure that it remains absolutely safe regardless of anything. Top-quality escort services and total safety of operations attract new clients to Dusseldorf Escort every day. So, don’t waste a single minute anymore and discover the unforgettable pleasures of Escort Dusseldorf and meet its attractive ladies, because you will clearly like that!

Escort girls

Escort girls - agen gays

Escort California - USA escorts, how to find them

Either you are ready for a a journey to the United States or you already live there, seeking the right escort services in your California , or area, should be a great mission, spiced with a lot of desire. Specially made for those who are searching to spend dates in a elegant environment, the escort service is now a universal niche for thousands and thousands of guys. In the United States only, there are more than one million escorts set to see and meet with you, and you only need a single click on the following article to better understand how it functions and where can you date call girls California .

Free hook ups or paid ones

No matter the cause, either you are on a work trip or in holiday, searching for somebody to date you and offer you sensual private moments should be your number one priority, if you feel alone or bored. USA California escort services are very spread and very well-known. They offer vast alternatives and come with a big number of models. From teens set to spend time with you, to MILFs seeking a man to make them feel spoiled and have fun with. If you plan to use the escorts California, make sure you choose your model according to your wishes. There are free dates and paid ones. You must fix which sort of escort California you will use. Depending on that, the payment will be marginal or higher.

What type of services do these escorts in California offer?

From romantic dinner dates to adult activities, these escorts can provide you almost any type of satisfaction you crave. Either you are a guy who loves talking with babes and spending time with them, or you are the type of lad who adores to get right to the business, escorts California can offer you anything you crave as long as you are elegant with them. Season your business journey or even your city break together with these mannered girls. They come from all over the globe, and they can definitely keep you going all night with their dedication and lust. Find the right escort and you will be granted with the most intense and addictive moments in your life. Not to mention that all escorts at escort services California are experienced ones. That means they know how to delight you and how to please you, no matter your demands or kinks.

Reasons to choose the escort services California

1. These girls are experienced ones. They know how this niche is working, and they sure know how to keep you happy.
2. Security and sanitation are the most important things at escort California. These girls will always look to you will feel comfortable in their company. They will do whatever it takes to make you feel good and feel satisfied.
3. Affinity is also a top point at escorts California . Your personal details, your desires, your kinks and basically everything associated to you and your adventure with the girls, all these will always be locked and out of the reach of other persons. You can rest assure that accessing California escort will be the best decision, and no matter what, your private details will be locked in place.

Conclusion

When it comes to models in California, our service is the best choice. You have all the motives to come here and see our girls. They are charming, well educated, of various ages and forms, highly into having a great time and most of all, very naughty. Check them out and seek the one you love the most, to make your trip or your business trip a truly unforgettable journey.
https://www.topescort.com/california.

Escort Yerevan To Meet The Hottest Babe For Your Secret Desires

Try Escort Yerevan in case you are on the lookout for a fine match, a sensual dinner, or an unforgettable adult experience with complete discretion.
If you are Thinking for a vacation to Yerevan, in Armenia, and you are interested in finding the offers that this republic has, in terms of escort Yerevan locals, assure you know the city and the night-life prior you go further with your steps. It's always a great idea to inform yourself about the habits, the tarifs, the local clubs and so on. This will assure you enjoy a fun experience once you decide on what sort of escort Yerevan service to use.
Armenia is a great country with interesting people, so experiencing the proper page for the coolest escort Armenia service https://armenia.escortnews.com/ should be quite simple. However, you should always search multiple online sources before making your decision. One of the finest suggestions when it comes to browsing proper escort Yerevan ladies, is this page.

Premium Escort Yerevan Service With a Simple Click

Using this top search for the hottest Escort Armenia service is going to ease your exploring and also offer you some of the finest Armenian ladies. It's easy and highly intuitive, always up to date to fulfill almost any of your demands. Either we are talking about a business rip, a holiday, or a trip dedicated to seeing gorgeous girls, this site will definitely come in handy.
This page is a place filled with appealing ladies and lots of offers. Escort Yerevan https://armenia.escortnews.com/escorts/yerevan comes as a big helper for those who feel the need to ease their search and find the proper model a lot faster. That's because it comes with plenty of helpful functions that will grant you the opportunity to easily find and select the babes you like, based on your sexual kinks, dreams, and so on.

Escort Yerevan Offers Top-Class For all Tastes

Make sure you go there and suit your personal fantasies, the babes at this place are on duty for you, and they surely know how to make a you satisfied. Follow the easy steps in order to reach for the chicks you desire. Browse topescort.com for more chances, and see what's waiting for you in here. Set free of your inner fantasies and enjoy the best intimate experience with the hot ladies at escort Yerevan.
czechcasting
bongacams
bongacams