Lesbian
2003-06-08

I fought this losing battle against my better sensibility and of my disgust. I really, truly, tried to resist. But, desire, lust, instinct – call it what you will- finally won out; my upbringing and my morals were as dust, the desire to slip my hand down towards the source of my heat, to satisfy and fulfil my body’s treacherous demands was overwhelming. It would not be denied. It could not be denied. And so, I gave in, I let my hand wander eagerly down to the seat of my excitement, my fingers rapidly tracing the swollen sensitive lips of my pussy through the soft linen of my panties, sending further wild fire into the already overheated interior. My reservations faded as the pleasure increased. I continued to watch the appalling scene, stroking myself, supposedly safe in my hiding place. My breath coming now in short dry gasps; my lips dry, as I bit my tongue with building excitement. The dreadful viciousness of the base savagery I witnessed was animalistic. Rape performed by men hardly more human than the object of their lust. Though lust is perhaps, in this context, the wrong word. Hate might be better. Punishment another. And it was not a woman who suffered from their attention. It was a man.

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   Though once again, ‘man’ might not be the right word either here. ‘Beast’ would be far more appropriate. And yes, finally, it was. He was ‘The Beast’. That’s what they had called him, accused him. They were taking revenge for what he had done. He was already a dead man. He knew it. They knew it. They knew his crimes and were now handing out their own special punishment. Tomorrow he would be hung. That would be the end of him. But it was not good enough for him. He had to suffer. Officials simply turned a blind eye.

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   Even, I suspect, actually encouraged it, and really, nobody cared. And the truly horrible thing, the appalling thing, was that his punishment, what was happening to him, excited me. But I knew that it was not simply what I witnessed, not the acts I watched, that aroused me. No. It was what had been previously revealed to me, what I had been told, and what he had done. You see, it was my job to understand this man, this predator, this… this beast. And now, it was finally the turn of the predator as victim. And that merely added to the mix of my already confused emotions. My fluttering fingers worked silently upon my cleft, provoked the climax I desired. It swept over me, and I shuddered, but it was not enough. Not nearly enough. But it did release me from my trance, enough for me to escape the vision of violence and sex. The sounds faded behind me as I turned and almost ran from my secret room where I had watched with a combination of disgust and lust. But still the sounds lingered inside my head, and they would never leave. It would be a long night for the beast, but at least he would have his release with the hangman tomorrow.

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   I had to live with his knowledge, and with what he did, inside of me for much, much longer. And more importantly, with the disconcerting self-knowledge that it had revealed of myself. The corridors were dark and gloomy as I negotiated my way out of the foreboding prison. I felt claustrophobic, trapped, almost like a prisoner myself. My mind was elsewhere, my body on automatic. I looked around me, trying to orient myself. My eye’s took in my surroundings as though for the first time. Then the realisation hit me. I was lost. I stopped, rooted now to the spot. Confused, I tried to recognise where I was. I could feel a sick, rising panic form within me. Everything seemed odd, unreal, inside the half-light of this old, and now deserted prison. As the noise of my footsteps echoed down the corridors and faded, my senses, on high alert, spotted a new sound. My heart jumped.

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   Someone else was here! The distinct and unmistakable sound of a heavy boot, scrapping on concrete made my skin crawl. I listened, straining to hear more, but a dead silence followed, but for the noise of my heart pounding in my head. I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. Fear took hold of me. I had to get out, get away from this evil place. I turned and began walking, my steps clattering on the stone of the floor. I turned into another long and empty corridor, lined with the closed sockets of dark heavy doors, all of them bolted against me, all that is, except for one. Something made me glance inside this one dark room as I passed, and I paused, peering inside. It was a mistake. I should have walked on, I knew it then, I know it now. But I paused. Something inside moved, I drew back instantly as if scalded, but not fast enough, as an arm snaked out from within the gloomy darkness, taking my arm in a vice like grip, and pulled me inside. I felt myself twisted around as another strong arm clamped itself over my mouth, stifling the emerging scream that was fighting to escape my lips. I was dragged into the darkness like a doll, unable to resist. The hand remained clamped itself hard over my mouth, I was now struggling to breath as I felt the other hand release my arm and wrap itself around my waist.

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   I was lifted off my feet and taken further into the dark room. I could feel hot breath against my neck as the hand held me hard against my assailant. “Shhh…don’t scream Julia. . ” The sound startled me, hissed into my ear. A woman’s voice! The shock of that immediately made me stop struggling. “That’s better…good, very good. ” The woman’s voice murmured softly into my ear, trying to sooth me. It was a dark and husky voice, almost male, but it was definitely that of a woman. Then another shock. A cold hand touched my cheek, tracing the features of my face, languidly stroking, feeling. There were two of them here! I started struggling again, trying to twist free from the arms that held me. It was no use. As I struggled, the hand continued on its lazy exploration, down my neck, down to the rise of my heaving breasts. It traced over the shape of my mounds, finding each of my nipples through the covering fabric, teasing them with a light touch, before beginning to unbutton the front of my blouse.

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   I redoubled my efforts to get free. “Shhh…” The voice in my ear whispered to me again. Its fake gentleness did nothing at all to sooth my fear. I continued to fight her restraining arms. It was as though I was a moth, caught in a spider’s web, the more I struggled, and the harder I was entangled. My blouse was open now, my breasts half exposed. The cold fingers traced over the top my soft flesh, testing, teasing, before they suddenly hooked inside my bra and yanked it down, freeing my breasts fully. Two hands immediately took each freed breast in a hard squeeze, rolling them, pinching my nipples hard as they did so. I tried to scream, but the hand remained over my mouth. I writhed against the exploration of my body, but the hands continued to play and fondle my breasts at will. My eyes were slowly adjusting to the darkness. I could just make out the figure in front of me, fondling me. Another woman! Again the shock froze me to immobility. The hands continued to massage my breasts, my nipples hardening under her attentions, despite my fear, or maybe because of it. “That’s better.

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   Why fight…?” The dark voice behind me whispered again into my ear. “We saw you watching…watching the beast…we were watching you Julia…. watching you touch yourself…we know what you would like… even if you don’t admit it to yourself. We know…oh, yes, Julia, … we know” With that, she kissed my neck, licking along my skin with a rough tongue. I shivered. The woman in front of me suddenly released my breasts and left me. I heard the heavy door close with a soft thud, and a metallic click as a bolt was thrown home. It was total darkness now, and my heart hammered in my ears. A match flared, shattering the darkness with its flare, and I saw clearly for the first time my rapists.

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I recognised them, but did not know them, did not know their names. They were from the women’s section of the prison, warders. Both strongly built women, and I knew completely, knew that I was no match for their strength. A candle was lit, its yellow flame softening the brief glare of the match that recently ignited it. Now the light from this candle flickered moving shadows across the room, swamping the room in its own atmosphere. She came back to me, a strip of cloth in her hand.

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   She held it up to my eyes with an evil smile on her lips. “This is for you, Julia, for you to bite on, to scream into, scream as loud as you like, whatever you like, and as much as you like, because we like to hear you, hear you scream, and nobody but us will hear…”The hand around my mouth released me, and the cloth was quickly tied around my head, gagging me. I struggled again, but the woman behind me held me firm. Ropes were tied around my wrists behind my back. I was trapped. Securely held. The voice behind me was whispering into my ear again. “Julia, tonight we are going to enjoy you, really enjoy you, and we are going to fuck you to within an inch of your life! You are going to cum like you have never cum before, whether you want to or not, and Julia…” She leaned in close, to whisper hungrily in my ear. “Julia, we are going to fuck your brains out till you explode” Her words sent a shiver down me and she felt it, felt my tremor, felt my fear. “Oh, yes!” Her hands swept around me, over my breasts, feeling my hardening nipples. “Lovely… you see? Your body wants me, Julia, wants me to use and fuck you Julia, fight it if you can, but you cannot deny it!”Then I knew. They were talking like The Beast. He had done exactly that to other innocents, young girls he had taken. Abused for his pleasure, torturing them until they would orgasm at his precise command. I shuddered as I thought of what lay ahead of me.

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   I fought against it, refused to accept my debased cravings. I would not submit. The woman in front of me smiled. “ I know what you are thinking…but its no use…”As she said this she cupped my breasts again and drew her thumbs across my now hard nipples as if to prove her point. I squirmed against the sensations that flowed down from her touch to my groin, as she tormented me, smiling that knowing smile. My struggling just pleased her more. Excited her more. Then I was taken further into the room and placed roughly upon the floor, my arms were swung above my head and tied to a wall radiator. More ropes were tied around my ankles, and my legs were spread and similarly tied to other fixtures. I was spread eagled and helpless before them. One of them produced a large pair of scissors and she flashed the cold metal at me. She came close to me, stroking my face with the steel, drawing the blade down slowly to my chest, and circling the hard metal against my nipples. To my horror, I felt them stiffen. Then she slipped the cutting blade under my bra and quickly cut the material away. My breast sprung free of their confines.

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   She drew the cold metal over each one in turn, watching the reaction on my face and my hardening nipples. With a cat like smile, she continued with the rest of my clothing, cutting away the fabric from my body, piece by piece. Only my panties now remained. Both women came close now, kneeling down beside their prise, smoothing their hands over my pubis, waist, and breasts, further down, tracing my inner thighs, and the damp cleft of my vagina in my panties. “Julia, you are getting so wet…mmm,” One of them murmured. I knew that I was. I could feel the heat inside me as they took advantage of me. I hated my body for its betrayal. I squirmed and writhed to free myself, but I could not, and I could not stop the fingers sliding up and down my swollen wet labia. I snarled and whined against my gag, as I watched them take advantage of me, their eyes wide with their own excitement. They leaned against each other in an embrace, leaving me alone for a moment. And as they kissed, their hands explored each other’s body, removing each other’s clothes as they did so, feeling each others naked flesh as it was revealed. Soon they were naked; their bodies glistened in the firelight of the room’s single candle. They suckled hungrily upon each other’s breasts, my body beneath them as hands delved between each other’s thighs as they squirmed against themselves. The sight, despite myself, excited me.

 

   And I could not control this excitement, just as they had planned. They saw me watching them and smiled as conspirators. They dropped their hands to my body, stroking me along my length, tantalising me with their soft touch. One hand slipped inside my panties and a single finger dipped deep inside me. It found no resistance, my wetness a betrayal of my intellect. I tried to close my legs against the sudden intrusion, but of course I could not. My struggles pleased them, the intruding finger slid in and out with impunity, and then up and over my sensitive clit, rotating over its sudden hardness, sending me into writhing convulsions. Electric sensation shot through me under their touch, unbidden, unwanted, but nevertheless highly erotic. I hated them, hated my own desires, but I could do nothing to stop them. Another hand joined in, also rubbing along my labia. I felt my hips rise to meet the new exploring touch; I was losing myself under this erotic attack. Now each woman was kneeling on each side of me, fondling my naked and tied body. Both my breasts were being massaged and squeezed at the same time as their other hands moved over my swollen labia and inner thighs. I heard a moan, realising with a start that it was my own voice. Again I fought against my body’s wanton acceptance of this rape being performed upon me.

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   I determined to not give them the pleasure of my abandonment, of climaxing for them, I would not!“Why are you fighting?” One of them whispered to me, kissing me, her tongue pushing insistently, lasciviously between my tightly held lips. I clenched my teeth together, resisting it’s probing. She continued to lick lightly at my face, before then moving down my neck and once again to my breasts and erect nipples. I could not restrain a gasp escaping my mouth as her wet tongue rasped over one erect nipple, flicking and licking it to even greater hardness. Then another mouth took my other breast deep inside its warm and wet confines, both mouths now sucked my firm flesh into their hungry chambers. Their tongues eagerly rasped over my nipples as they sucked insistently on my flesh, teasing and infuriating me to double pleasure. I writhed under their attentions, not with fear or resistance, but with pleasure. I could do nothing to stop them. I could do nothing to stop my body responding. I felt wetness start to flow from my pussy. As they also noticed. The sucking on my breasts stopped, the release of them was now infuriating to me. I wanted it to continue. I opened my eyes again to see both women turn away from my tender breasts and move down to explore my wetness. Now, inflamed, I found myself straining to meet them.

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   I no longer cared. I needed release. I felt the coolness of their breath upon my hot swollen sex first, then a light tickling touch sent me shuddering as two tongues gently explored my outer lips. Then they went further, dipping into me, as one held me open, the other darter her tongue around my walls and inside of me. Other probing fingers also entered me, I no longer could tell what was happening to me as my very being was opened up and probed. Then a hot mouth clamped itself directly over and upon my small, erect and very hard clit, viciously sucking in its sensitive nub. Now I felt myself scream through my gag as I bucked to the sudden overwhelming sensation. I felt a weight descend upon me, restraining me more. I looked to see one of the women sitting astride me, her swollen pussy moving down towards my face. Then its soft wetness was on me, rubbing my face with her own sex as she sucked on my swollen sensitive clit. Her scent swamped me in delicious sensation, and I instantly overwhelmed with waves of pleasure shaking through me in an intense orgasm. They felt my climax and intensified their licking, sucking, probing of my body, and prolonging the pleasure almost into pain. Then something large was pushed against my dripping opening. I felt it push at me, stretching me wide with its huge width, it burrowed unstoppably into my depths. On and on it went, deeper, wider, sending me into another, higher, level of sensation as it filled me.

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   And now I was filled totally, as I had never been filled, and I loved it. The sucking on my clit never stopped, holding me in its delicious pain as the unknown huge monster filled my pussy. Then the monster filling me began to move. The gaping hole left as it withdrew, was filled again and again, as it re-entered, deeply fucking me faster and faster as it filled me shockingly.

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Through gasps of pain and pleasure, I glimpsed the other woman riding me, a huge dildo strapped to her waist as she plunged the monster again and again into my body. Her face was contorted, her eyes wide, then closed, smiling, and grinning, as she fucked me with her weapon. I breached over into orgasm again at such a sight, but then sopping pussy again covered my face, as her friend ground herself back onto my face. Now I heard other cries, their cries, as they spent themselves upon me. One woman fucking me, her ‘cock’ plunging wildly, frantically, into me, as she screamed her delight. Groaned in ecstasy, her friend ground herself against my face, her juices flowing over me in her orgasm. My own orgasm reached unknown heights and I passed out. When I came too, I was alone in the darkened room, the candle almost burnt out. My aching thighs reminded me of my experience. Some clothes had been left for me, my own cut clothing bagged up next to me. I quickly got dressed and hurried out of the building in a daze.

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   Leaving the prison, the hard granite walls of that unforgiving establishment faded into the fog behind me. The dank grey cold of London’s winter clawed at me. The cold was worse because of the fog, and insinuating itself into my bones no matter how I hard I tightly wrapped myself in my coat. I hurried forward, head down, avoiding the glances of strangers, of contact with people. What other beasts lurked unknown in the world? I needed to be home, safe, and in the arms of Natasha. I flung myself into her warm arms as soon as she opened the door. Pulled her voluptuous body against mine, glorying in the firm warm press of her breasts against mine, her hips hard against my own. “Julia. . ?. . what. ?” She could say no more as I clamped my mouth over her sweet lips, stifling her question, kissing her with a hunger I had not know before. I was possessed, as if the previous events had inflamed me to animal passions unknown to me previously. My desire was infectious, because she returned my kiss with a quickly growing passion.

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   Our tongues danced against each other, probing, sucking. I broke away, panting, short of breath, and looked for one long heartbeat, deep into Natasha’s almond eyes. I saw reflected inside them my own desire, but returned with interest. No further words were needed as the raw sexuality lepted between us like a brush fire. I pulled her to me once again and, this time, she responded firmly, pressing her hips hard against me, her hands sweeping down my back and over the roundness of my ass, pulling me tighter into her. We ground against each other as we kissed, wanting to be as one, needing each other. I wanted her warm soft body fully against mine, all of her. Frantically I began removing her clothes as she removed mine, and in seconds we fell to the floor, careless of the impropriety of it all, of where we were, nothing else mattered except each other. Natasha usually was the one in control, but not this time. My passion took her over, and she lay back, recognising my need, allowing me her body, which I then took hungrily. I kissed her deeply, sucking on her offered tongue as if it were a small cock, pulling it into me, as it in turn darted and moved against me, as no real cock could. Releasing it, I moved my head to her slender and smooth neck, kissing and licking my way down its elegant length, nipping the skin lightly as I went, causing her to moan at my touch, the slight pain from my nipping teeth intensifying her responses. I moved quickly further down, down to the lovely mounds of her breasts. Natasha rolled her body offering her breasts up, up towards my lips; her desperation and intention clear that they be taken as soon as possible inside my hot mouth. Cupping them both roughly in each hand I squeezed each globe together, taking each hard nipple in turn hotly into my mouth, rasping my tongue fiercely over each sensitive nub.

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   Then I inhaled each breast into my mouth, filling me with her firm soft flesh. Natasha wailed and writhed underneath me as I suckled her. My pussy was aching for attention. I could wait no longer. I spun around, and dove at her swollen pussy lips, my quick kiss upon them, rewarding me with her soft wetness, her aroma of desire, as it filled my head and my senses. My tongue became possessed, flicking at her hard erect clit as she thrust her hips up to my face in response. I groaned as I felt Natasha’s hands spread my ass cheeks before her own tongue lapped rapidly at my own sopping entrance. Her probing touch made me shudder and jump, but I pressed back against her, demanding more. I drowned my gasps in Natasha’s pussy as I drove my tongue deeply into her, driving her wild, lapping up, around and over her labia, over her swollen clit, and back into her, again and again. We both came quickly in a shuddering screaming climax as one, then held the intensity, prolonging the orgasm as waves of convulsions flooded our insides, the soft walls of our vaginas clasping desperately at each delving tongue, holding the passion, prolonging the pleasure. We rode each other for an eternity, as one deep climax swept into another, then another, until we were finally spent, exhausted. I turned around, back to Natasha’s sweet face, flushed with passion, wet with my love juices. I kissed her, tasting myself upon her lips. Then held her tightly to me, safe in her arms, as we hugged each other silently. “Julia…” Natasha at last said, shifting within the warmth of our embrace as she looked up at me, questioningly “ What happened?” “I’m not sure…” I told her.

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   And I wasn’t. I still am unsure. I tried to explain. “I was raped tonight…but not by any man…by women…”“I think it is connected to the case I am working on. . . it. . is. . is. . Well, it’s different…” I stumbled, trying to make her understand. I fear I was not making myself very clear. “In what way?” Natasha asked, looking at me clearly confused and a little concerned.

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   “I know I should not do this, its against all the rules, but…” I hesitated. Should I allow her to read my transcripts? I knew I had to share this with her, needed to share it with her. “What’s against the rules?” Natasha repeated her question, now very concerned. For an answer, I got up and walked over to the pile of our discarded clothes. I found my small brief case and took it back to where Natasha was now sitting up, watching me carefully. I sat down next to her, and pulled out my notebook. I handed it to her. She took it from me warily. “You want me to read this?” She asked softly. “Yes, I want you to read it, and I want you to tell me, to explain to me…” I couldn’t explain more, she just had to read it. “Alright, I will, but come upstairs with me, lets go to bed, and I will read it with you we will read it. . . together” And so we did, the two of us, warm and comfortable, together, safe. She rested her head against my breast, and I let her in to my torment, let her read what I knew.

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   Perhaps she could understand and explain what I could not. Explain to me why ' The Beast', resided in all of us, in some dark way. . . .